HOW TO: Side-Piece Proof Your Relationship

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It may not be news to you, but it will be when I say it.

 

Alright ladies and gentlemen, we are a the cusp of “cuffing season” with Christmas down the street and Valentines Day around the corner. While at this moment I can’t tell you how to receive your Dream Gift, I will attempt to give you the tools to keep you in the mind of your lover. Let’s be real for a moment, even if you aren’t in an exclusive relationship it is still a relationship. If the relationship just involves you coming over in the midnight hour for some sexual healing, then that is the terms of your relationship. If that’s not alright with you and you want to be taken seriously, take a look at these few tips.

5. Clothing

Leave an article of clothing in the crevice of the room. Whether you choose to put it in the side of the bed, the “shorts” draw, or sticking out of the closet, leaving your clothes (or accessories) in your lover’s room is a stamp of your presence. We’ve all seen music videos where the girl finds underwear that isn’t hers, or the man finds a tie that doesn’t belong to him. If the person is not entertaining other guests, he or she will find it and simply return it to you. However, if your lover has another, it will be found and addressed. No matter what happens, the world WILL know that you were there.
4. Social Media

In many cases we have seen the “forced cuff.” The forced cuff includes the changing of Facebook relationship status, mentioning their name on Twitter or the infamous “sneak shot.” This occurs when the other party is sleeping and or not aware of the picture being taken. It is usually followed by a caption such as “my boo” or “my world.” Sometimes the other party lets it slide because they don’t want to lose what they have for the time. Other times the other party is totally unaware. No matter what happens, the world WILL know that you were there.

3. Tell your friends

Men lie, women lie but friends tell the truth. Tell all of your homeboys and homegirls that you are dating your lover. Tell them only the positives; how good the Netflix movie was, how good the Chinese food was and how peaceful your lover looks in their sleep. With all of these, your friends will piece together that what you have is real. Then when they see your lover with someone else, it will come right back to you or straight to the other person. Word travels too fast these days for you to be kept in the dark. No matter what happens, the world WILL know that you were there.

2. Meet The Parents/Family

Depending on their age and financial status, you may have already met the parents if your lover is still living with them. In those cases the simple “hi” and “bye” just isn’t enough. Take the time out to introduce yourself, know them on a first name bases. Get invested in their lives. Start with complimenting their female family members’ hair and beauty. House full of men? Find their favorite sports team and stick with it. Turn simple waves into full interactions. Pretty soon they will be asking about you and rooting for you. No matter what happens, the world WILL know that you were there.

1. Hickies

There has been major “player propaganda” spreading that rules a hickey off as childish and immature. This is not the case at all. A hickey in the right place can be hidden from co-workers, family and associates. Leave a hickey where you are certain the “other lover” will find it; the pelvis, the arm, the chest, the stomach etc. All of these places can be covered by a simple shirt so your lover will not lose their job (unless they are an exotic dancer). Sure they will be mad for some time, but in a week they will get over it. Don’t blow your cover and just latch on to your lover, find the perfect moment during lovemaking where they believe you are no longer in control of your actions.

No matter what happens, the world WILL know that you were there.

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